I leave in two days.
This probably means I should a bit more effort into packing, since I currently have nothing packed and I'm supposed to be packing for 2 years away from home.
But I'm not.
For some reason, I've been having a lot more anxiety about this study abroad experience than the last one. Who knows why I am feeling this way, but I am. And at this point in the game, I have to go. Too much money has been sunk in this venture for me to chicken out now.
I guess it goes with the normal anxiety of a recent college graduation. There seems to be a general theme amongst my peers of no sense of direction or purpose. We were let loose with some degrees that we weren't entirely sure what to do with when we picked our majors. It's all the same story, told by each wannabe intellectual recent college grad trying to find their purpose.
I guess I was especially challenged this summer when after a week of working at my local Girl Scout Council, they offered me a full time position. A job! In the non-profit sector! That paid and had benefits and tied into my major! I had hit the gold mine! How many of my peers were desperately searching for the same thing that had just fallen into my lap with ease? Was I an absolute lunatic for taking out loans to move to a different country for school? When I could just stay in Tucson and work and be able to pay my own bills and not starve?
I decided I wasn't, and turned down the job. Some other recent college grad got it instead, making her very happy I'm sure. And now I have a plane leaving in two days that I better be on, otherwise a lot of people will be disappointed in me. And I think being on that plane involves doing some packing, which I should probably get to. Because packing for 2 years is going to involve bringing a lot of stuff.
This probably means I should a bit more effort into packing, since I currently have nothing packed and I'm supposed to be packing for 2 years away from home.
But I'm not.
For some reason, I've been having a lot more anxiety about this study abroad experience than the last one. Who knows why I am feeling this way, but I am. And at this point in the game, I have to go. Too much money has been sunk in this venture for me to chicken out now.
I guess it goes with the normal anxiety of a recent college graduation. There seems to be a general theme amongst my peers of no sense of direction or purpose. We were let loose with some degrees that we weren't entirely sure what to do with when we picked our majors. It's all the same story, told by each wannabe intellectual recent college grad trying to find their purpose.
I guess I was especially challenged this summer when after a week of working at my local Girl Scout Council, they offered me a full time position. A job! In the non-profit sector! That paid and had benefits and tied into my major! I had hit the gold mine! How many of my peers were desperately searching for the same thing that had just fallen into my lap with ease? Was I an absolute lunatic for taking out loans to move to a different country for school? When I could just stay in Tucson and work and be able to pay my own bills and not starve?
I decided I wasn't, and turned down the job. Some other recent college grad got it instead, making her very happy I'm sure. And now I have a plane leaving in two days that I better be on, otherwise a lot of people will be disappointed in me. And I think being on that plane involves doing some packing, which I should probably get to. Because packing for 2 years is going to involve bringing a lot of stuff.
No comments:
Post a Comment